07 January, 2009
Brett Geeves for www.tascricket.com.au
Being injured is a nightmare!! I feel like Bill Murray on Groundhog Day. I wake up, hit the snooze button 6 times, skip breakfast, swim some laps at the local pool, eat some lunch and check the NBA box scores, head down to the gym and do some calf raises on the reformer, eat dinner, play some nuffy in the states at online NBA 2k9 on the PS3, he beats me so I give him a poor sportsmanship rating (I'm a horrible loser) then go to bed - The next day brings the exact same thing.
There are so many negatives to being injured. So rather than bore you with my sob story (light violin playing in the background); I have decided to tell you about the positives. This may get me in trouble with the coach, but I’m willing to take him on. He's only small.
1. You can train away from the main squad - Because I have a broken big toe, I don't have a lot to offer around the group. As I mentioned earlier, my training is swimming and calf raises. Sure, I told the coach I was swimming when our squad sessions were scheduled. But who gets out of bed before 9am to go swimming? I can think of two scenarios that would get me swimming before 9am… McDonald's Drive Thru on the way home. Man I love a McHash Brown - The other - If Hayley Lewis was my training partner. She's old school hot!! Something has happened to the elite swimmers of today. They're all too broad. Bring back the slim Susie O’Neill and Geoff Huegill (doing it for the big chaps Stuey Dew style)!!
2. Sympathy - The "moon" boot is a winner with everyone who has a heart. I've had countless offers to carry my shopping bags to my car, people go out of their way to hold doors open and my local butcher gave me an extra thick cut on my weekly T-Bone. Unfortunately it hasn't got me out of ironing, washing dishes, vacuuming, mowing the lawns, walking the dogs, cooking dinner, mopping the floor with a toothbrush, hanging the clothes on the line, getting the morning paper, feeding the dogs and hand washing the cars in a mankini - WHAT? Maybe I could get some sympathy from you the reader? If you could send a $5er to the TCA c/- Brett Geeves that would definitely show me how much you guys care about my cause…Do you have a heart?
3. Christmas Break - To all you youngsters out there, if you’re going to get injured; do it when you can really enjoy yourself. No point pulling your Hamstring off the bone in the middle of June!! Pre Season training on crutches would be hopeless. Do it just before the Christmas break and ho down on your mum’s Chrissie pudding!! You have a few extra weeks to work it off and everyone else is going to come back all puddined up anyway. You have a legitimate excuse to be a little chubby. Say to the coach "You try running without a hamstring coach"!! Also, if you have big events coming up on your social calendar i.e. Brother's Wedding, New Year’s Eve party…That’s also a good time to stub your toe a few times on the end of a hammer.
*** Please note kiddies, I’m not telling you to go out and smash yourself with a hammer........ It’s a suggestion!!
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