Pathetic, amateur, spineless: British press react to defeat

Nobody is safe according to the British press with Alastair Cook’s men labelled ‘pathetic’ in the wake of their heavy loss at Lord’s.

England – having lost eight of their past ten Tests at Lord’s – felt the full wrath of Fleet Street with journalists and legends of the game unleashing on the ‘hapless’ side.

In the Daily Star, Adam Hathaway wrote: “On a flat pitch gutless England could not even take the match into the last day and surrendered in 37 overs to be bowled out for a pathetic 103. England had to bat 150 overs to save the game and barely managed a quarter of that."

Match Report: Australia square series with Lord's hammering

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Cook's men labelled as 'amateurs' by The Star

Former England Test captain Geoffrey Boycott was also scathing in The Telegraph, furious about his country’s lack of patience and determination of a ‘pudding’ pitch.

"Getting bowled out on this pitch in 37 overs was an embarrassment. We had no fight, our thinking was awful and we never adapted to the situation ... it is shameful to bat the way we did.

"Unless we take 20 wickets, how are we going to win the Ashes? They took 20 wickets on a slow surface tailor-made to frustrate them. We took 10 wickets and conceded 820 runs. We are not going to beat Australia on flat, slow pitches."

The Independent writer Stephen Brenkley wrote: “Everything has suddenly gone wrong for England. In the space of a week they have veered from the sublime to the ridiculous. What happened on Sunday was not so much a defeat as a mauling.”

The series was levelled at 1-1, less than a week after England defeated Australia by 169 runs at Cardiff.

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The Mirror aren't alone in throwing the word 'pathetic' out

Calls have also been made to replace out of form opener Adam Lyth with Johnny Bairstow after scoring just 50 runs in four innings, twice removed by Mitchell Starc in London.

The Daily Express’ Chris Stocks was particularly scathing of the four-Test opener, writing “Adam Lyth, the 666th player to represent England in Tests, is in his own version of hell against this Australian attack, beasted twice by Mitchell Starc at Lord's in a match that saw his glaring technical weakness outside off stump ruthlessly exposed.”

Another former Test captain Bob Willis also saw Gary Balance and Ian Bell as part of England’s top order woes.

“Adam Lyth, Gary Ballance and Ian Bell have had a torrid time this summer and England just can’t afford to have three-quarters of their top order misfiring.

“Big match-winning or saving scores are hard enough to come by without having three men back in the pavilion before you have got 50 on the board.”

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Ben Stokes was chastised for his run-out dismissal

The Telegraph’s Nick Hoult also joined the debate, offering his opinion on who’s head will roll next before the Edgbaston Test begins.

“Gary Ballance looks most vulnerable to losing his place after a poor match at Lord’s that has left him with just one score of more than fifty in 16 innings for both England and Yorkshire since the Grenada Test in April.

“Ian Bell is hovering close to the exit, too, with an average of 10 in his past six Tests but the venue for the third Test is his home ground at Edgbaston and that may work in his favour.”

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Jimmy Anderson was the final wicket to fall in the Lord's Test

As always, an England batting collapse opens the door for the much maligned Kevin Pietersen to enter the equation as a sound replacement and saviour according to The Telegraph’s Jonathan Liew. Although writing with tongue firmly in cheek, Liew’s piece captured the fatalist mood sweeping Fleet Street.

“Drop Joe Root as punishment for batting next to Bell in the order. Drop Ben Stokes for his calamitous run-out. Drop Jos Buttler, too. Replace all six with Kevin Pietersen, and the Ashes are surely ours.”

England have a chance to regroup and will seek to redeem themselves with the third Test at Edgbaston beginning on 29 July.

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The Daily Express are saying their national team are in 'Shambles'