Panesar opens up on mental health battle

Former England spinner Monty Panesar has opened up about the mental health issues that he says almost ended his career.

Panesar, who hasn't played for England since the 2013 Boxing Day Test, is on the comeback trail having battled poor mental health in recent years, the 33-year-old admitting he was "in denial" before he finally sought help.

The spinner is seeking strong performances for county side Northamptonshire, who confirmed just last week that Panesar would be available for selection for the 2016 season, in the hope of adding to his 50 Test matches on England's tours of Bangladesh and India later this year.

Panesar's positive and optimistic outlook is a welcome change following a tough period on and off the field. 

"I had paranoia issues," Panesar told The Telegraph.

"Mentally my confidence would go low and I would feel like my own teammates were out to get me.

"Partly I was putting blame on myself for not reaching standards and if people confirmed that by saying I was not concentrating, then I would take that on board too much.

"I have learned I need to be kinder to myself and have more balance rather than be so self critical. 

"I would get in a really dark place. I have had professional advice and treatment and maybe I could have saved myself at (previous county side) Essex if I had talked about it earlier and not hung back so late because by the time I did talk about (it), people had lost patience with me and were wondering why I was behaving like that. 

"That is life. When you have mental health issues people stay in denial for a long time and I did that. It took me a while to come out of that.

"But I suddenly realised 'why am I behaving so abruptly with people? My behaviour is not in check'. That is when I realised something was not right and I needed to get help.

"I just needed (to) talk through it and identify what was wrong. I have come out of that and I feel a lot better about myself. People are now saying to me that I am lot more together and more my old self."

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Panesar's enthusiasm for the game is underlined by the fact that he's not signed a contract with Northants and was not been paid during the pre-season. He even self-funded his trip to Barbados to join their pre-season tour. 

While Panesar's mental health has improved, it's a physical ailment - the lingering effects of off-season shoulder surgery - that will keep him out of action for start of the season.

When he does return to the field, Panesar will do so with a view to England's Test schedule at the end of the year; they're set to play two Tests in Bangladesh in October ahead of a five-Test series in India in November and December.

England's two-man spin attack of Moeen Ali and Adil Rashid returned mixed results during their series against Pakistan in the UAE last October.

Rashid managed a five-wicket haul on debut in Abu Dhabi but took just three more wickets in the other two Tests, Ali finished the series with nine wickets at 48 and allrounder Samit Patel took 3-164 in his only match of the series.

Should Panesar regain the form that saw him named one of five Wisden Cricketers of the Year in 2007, his experience in the subcontinent would make him a tempting option for England selectors.

The left-armer has taken 52 wickets 14 matches in Asia, including 17 scalps in three Tests during England's famous 2-1 series win in India in 2012.

"I really want to be part of the England set-up," Panesar told the BBC last week.

"If it doesn't happen then at least I tried my best. I'm confident I can bowl the way I used to bowl.

"There's a sub-continent winter tour in Bangladesh and India which keeps me motivated and it's something I want to be part of.

"I know I've got a lot of hard work ahead of me, but I'm prepared to do that."